Christian parenting on dating
You should have lots of boys as friends at your age.” The little girl sighed and said, “I know, but when I am 14, I will be old enough to date.” Somewhat surprised by the comment, the mother asked her daughter what you do on a date. Have you ever had a discussion with your teen about the purpose of dating or what you do on a date?
With no hesitation, the daughter said, “You have sex.” With all kinds of thoughts reeling through her head, the mother asked, “Where did you hear that? In an informal survey of teens, many of them stated that they have never had a conversation with their parents about dating other than curfew and expectations concerning drinking and driving.
I had to learn how to relate to him in a healthy and Christ-centered way and it was a painful but fruitful period of intense personal growth.
Once we were married, the graces of the sacrament blew the doors of grace and freedom wide open. I have a high opinion of many of these youngsters but I also know the weakness of youth and the emptiness of our cultural dating practices.
I am opposed to teens exclusively dating before a marriageable age with a purpose other than serious marriage discernment. It’s not that all of those boys were monsters (although a couple were mighty strange) but rather that I did not have the time and the freedom to develop purpose and confidence outside of a relationship.
Poor judgment with a vehicle can inconvenience, injure, or kill people; however, poor judgment in a relationship can wound the very soul. As much as I honor his good nature and maturity, I recognize that permitting him to date would be like encouraging him to text and drive… Fortunately for me, he shares his parents’ belief that modern dating does not honor the purpose of Christian courtship…which is to prepare for marriage. If the greatest relationships are rooted in love and service to Christ, exclusive dating according to modern trends is not necessary to build that kind of rock solid foundation.
Instead of giving me confidence and fruitful life experience, the teenage dating culture tore me down, stunted my understanding of real commitment and love, and trapped me in a pattern of superficial people pleasing.
When I began dating my husband, I was still influenced by those unhealthy patterns and needed time to heal.
” The little girl told her mother she had heard it at school from her friends who heard it from their older siblings. Many parents have the belief, “nobody talked to me about dating and I turned out pretty good so what’s the big deal?
” Studies show that teenagers crave intimacy and adolescents are beginning to date at earlier ages.The entire purpose of my parenthood is to pass the key to that freedom and joy on to my kids.